The company bitch .. AO fuck with the boss! Am I promoted now?

I've been in the new company for 3 months now, I think it's time to show the real me... and a promotion is slowly due, after all, I'm hardworking and competent in all areas, hehe. So I introduce myself to the boss and try to negotiate something cool, after all I have cool arguments! And I show what I can do and offer to take me nice and bare and juice the tail nice everything a boss needs a little pampering program! Well, I'm going to be employee of the month ??